Gender Reveal

     On October 26, 2012, we had our 16 week ultra sound where we can find out the gender of our babies. Ryan really did not want to find out the sex of the babies and I was on the fence. I really wanted to know, but I was okay with not finding out. Our doctor said early on that depending on the sex of the babies we might see "something" during an ultra sound, because we will be having a ton during my pregnancy. I told Ryan I didn't want to find out on accident and have no surprises and I am not one that cannot, not look the ultra sounds either. We finally agreed on finding out what we were having, but did not want to find out at the doctors office. Someone recommended to us having the ultra sound tech put the gender of each baby in an envelope and open it at dinner. So, that is exactly what we did! 

     "Baby A" had no problem showing off during the ultra sound appointment, but "Baby B" was being very modest and stubborn. The tech could not get the baby to uncross its legs. After an hour of trying to get the sex of "Baby B" the ultra sound tech sent us to see our doctor for the check up and had me drink a Capri Sun in the mean time so hopefully with a little sugar and me walking around the baby would uncross its legs!  Finally, the baby cooperated with us and the tech was able to get the gender of  both babies!

     We had two envelops with the gender of our babies sitting on the side of our fridge until our 3rd wedding anniversary on November 7th. They were labeled "Baby A" and "Baby B." We went to dinner in Park City at a restaurant called Prime Steakhouse and Piano Bar. Oh my goodness, the food was delicious! (We HIGHLY recommend it) After dinner our server brought out ice cream for us with  pink and blue candles. We had her record us opening up the envelops, Ryan opened the "Baby A" envelope and I opened "Baby B." (Results listed below!) After dinner we stopped at the Oshkosh store in the Tanger Outlet Mall to bought each baby an outfit and PJ's, gender specific!

     On the night of November 8th we had a little gender reveal party with our parents and siblings. Thank goodness for Skype/Facetime, Travis, Amanda, Terrance and Amber could be with us, even though they live out of state! To tell our family the sex of the babies we had two boxes labeled "Baby A Boy or Girl?" and "Baby B Boy or Girl?" We filled the boxes with balloons and whatever color of balloons is in the box represents the sex of the baby. We had a great time decorating the boxes and filling them with the balloons. Afterwards, we had ice cream for everyone to enjoy while visiting with one another. 

     We want to thank our friends and family again for the unconditional love and support you have shown us. We are so blessed and could not be more excited to have the opportunity to be parents of twin babies! It's going to be quite the journey, but we would not change it for the world! 

"Baby A"

IT'S A BOY!!!

                                   

 

"Baby B"

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Gender Reveal Boxes

Ryan and I both guess right on the sex of 

"Baby A" and "Baby B" based off of their actions 

during the last two ultra sounds! 

WooHoo!!

Yay! Best Of Both Worlds! 

Ice Cream Bar

We stared at the ultra sound pictures and shed some
tears together after finding out the gender of our babies

 Amazing Anniversary! With many more to come! 

 The outfits we picked out at Oshkosh!

And the PJ's

17 Weeks and 3 Days
(November 7, 2012) 

Sleepless Night

On Thursday night I went to the restroom around 10:00pm right before going to bed. I was feeling good that night and had not thrown up. Around 12:15am our dog, Lucky, woke me up because he was running around the house like a wild puppy. When he does that he usually has hives from a bee sting. Well, sure enough he had hives all over his body. I took him into the kitchen and gave him benadryl. On my way back to bed I decided I should go to the restroom again before falling asleep. Ryan was at work and I had called him when Lucky woke me up because I had two miss calls from him. I told him to hold on while I went to the restroom. I got back on the phone and was freaking out, I discovered what every pregnant women is afraid of.....bleeding. Ryan kept telling me to calm down, told me that everything would be okay, and asked me  what exactly was going on. He also kept asking if we needed to go to the ER. I wasn't sure what to do and couldn't give him an answer because I was so upset. I was not just spotting, I had bleeding like a menstrual cycle. I called my mom and woke her up and asked her to come over for an opinion. We decided to go to the ER because it more blood than we both thought was "normal" and I wouldn't be able to sleep without knowing everything was okay. My mom called Ryan and we meet him at the ER. We got registered and was taken back right away. The doctor was very understanding of our concerns and was very sympathetic. He checked my cervix and said everything looks okay. There were no blood clots and the bleeding had stopped. We did an ultra sound to make sure the babies were okay. Both babies looked good and were very active for 2:45am. Let's just say I hope they get better sleeping habits than what they have now! They both had good heart beats of 150bmp and 148bmp. One of the babies was waving to us during the ultra sound, which at that point I couldn't help but to smile. The doctor said one of the sacs pulled away from my uterus causing the bleeding and that a main vein was torn because of the amount of bleeding. The ultra sound does not show the tear, which is good because that means it is not very large and should heal up quickly. The doctor informed us that many things can cause the sacs to pull away. In our situation he though the amount of vomiting during my pregnancy could have pulled the sac away or one of the babies could have made a very hard sudden movement. I was put on bed rest for the weekend and was told to take it easy. We go back in on Wednesday for a follow up with Dr. Langer. I am excited to have another ultra sound to confirm the babies are still doing good!

We want to thank our amazing family and friends for bringing us meals and checking up on our little family! Thank you mom for staying with me Friday night while Ryan was at work. We appreciate you waiting on me hand and foot and helping out around the house. We are so blessed to have the family and friends we do! We are overwhelmed by the unconditional love, support and prayers we have received during our journey.

11 Weeks

Well, I figured if I wanted to do belly pictures, I should start now!

11 Weeks

Meeting Dr. Langer

On September 7, 2012 we had our 9 week ultra sound with Dr. Foulk. Everything on our ultra sound looked great! Baby A measured 8 weeks and 6 days (2.17cm) with a healthy heart beat of 168 BPM. Baby B was measured at 8 weeks and 5 days (2.12cm) with a heart beat of 172 BPM. Dr. Foulk signed us off and released us to a regular OB. We are excited that we don't have to travel so far for our appointments, but we sure will miss Dr. Foulk and his amazing staff! They will always hold a special place in our hearts!

We we're referred to Dr. Kathleen Langer at Jordan Valley Hospital by Dr. Foulk. A patient of mine also highly recommended her. I called to make us an appointment but the scheduler said I would have to leave a message with the nurse to see if Dr. Langer could take us on as patients because she was reaching her maximum amount of patients that are due in March and April. Luckily for us, Dr. Langer accepted us as patients. We were so relieved!!

Dr. Langer wanted to meet with us at 10 weeks for a base line appointment on Sept 27th, 2012. Everything looked really good both physically and on the ultra sound. We got to see our cute little babies on the ultra sound again but we were not able to get pictures of them because they were too busy playing and doing flips! We LOVED Dr. Langer. She is so sweet, understanding and very educational. She talked with us on how another doctor from the U of U hospital will be helping her monitor our pregnancy. He helps Dr. Langer and many other doctors across the valley with patients who are pregnant with multiplies. We are excited to meet him and will hopefully get to do so at our 13 week appointment, which is scheduled for Oct. 8th. I am considered a "high intensity" pregnancy because I am having twins, which as of now means I will have more ultra sounds than the average person. I am also able to continue with my regular daily activities including going to the gym to walk on the treadmill, use the elliptical or ride the bike a couple of times a week. I just need to get past this "morning" sickness!

So far the pregnancy has been pretty hard on me. It has been tough being on so many hormone pills and shots for so long and being winged off of them has put my body in a lot of shock causing sever headaches and vomiting. However, as of Friday we finished up all hormone shots, pills and suppositories.Yay!! As of now, I am on prenatal pills and Metformin. My doctor told me the pregnancy gets much better once the hormone injections are released from my body. Also, I have been on antibiotics for a UTI. This has made it so I have not been able to keep food down for four days now. We finally called my doctor today and got my antibiotics changed. She gave me anti nausea medication so I am able to keep some food down. Even though the pregnancy has been really tough so far I am extremely thankful for the opportunity to carry our twin babies!

(Baby A at 9 weeks)

It was hard to get an ultra sound picture of Baby A

because Baby B was on top of it.

(Baby B at 9 weeks)

The bubble on the top left by the baby's head is called the Yolk Sac.

It provides early nourishment until the internal organs are formed.

Perschon Babies

Well, as most of you probably already know..... Ryan and I are expecting twins in early April 2013!!! We could not be more excited and thankful for the opportunity to be parents, thanks to the help of Dr. Foulk and his amazing staff at the Utah Fertility Center.We transferred two embryos on 7/25/2012 and had a 70% chance of becoming pregnant and a 30% chance of having twins. We had blood work done ten days and  twelve days after the transfer. At the twelve day blood work they told us I was pregnant. Then we had more blood work done at twenty days after transfer to confirm a positive pregnancy again. We just found out on Tuesday, August 28th at our first ultra sound appointment that we are having twins.

 I am currently 7 weeks and 4 days along. Both babies are growing perfect and healthy. At our 7 week ultra sound Baby A was measured at 6 weeks and 6 days with a heart beat of 134 BPM and Baby B was measured at 7 weeks with a heart beat of 139 BPM. We have another ultra sound appointment with Dr. Foulk a week from today for my 9 week appointment. If everything continues to looks good with both babies he will release me to an OBGYN.

I have had some pregnancy symptoms like "morning sickness." I am nausea all day long and throwing up in the evening. I don't have much of an appetite and all I want to do is sleep! I live on popcorn, soft pretzels, saltine crackers, popsicle, string cheese, some fruits, yogurt and water. Those seem to be the foods I can keep down right now. I also sleep every chance I can get!

These are the Embryos that were implanted on 7/25/2012

Ultra sound picture of the Embryos in my uterus

We took a self portrait to frame for our parents

7 week Ultra Sound
(When we found out we are having twins)

Embryo Transfer (7/25/2012)

Embryo transfer completed! We met with the doctor yesterday to go over the status of all 42 embryos. They are all looking really good and maturing well, so the doctor decided that today was the best day for the transfer. We made an educated decision with the doctor on how many embryos he felt would be best to transfer for our particular situation. However, we have decided to wait and share that information with everyone until we have better results. Ryan and I had the opportunity to watch the embryo transfer be completed and Dr. Foulk walked us through each step of the procedure. It was such a neat experience that we will never forget. I have had no pain following the transfer and it is actually hard to be on bed rest when you feel just fine. I am down on bed rest for 3-4 days and I am suppose to lay down as much as possible. After the first few days I can return to my normal activities,  but I can not be involved in physical activities that raise my heart rate or body temperature for a few weeks. The lab at Dr. Foulk's office called us today to let us know that they froze 14 healthy and mature embryos which is a large amount. Usually they only have 4-6 embryos to freeze per transfer.

Egg Retrieval (7/22/2012)

Well, I had 58 eggs retrieved, 42 of them fertilized and are looking really good according to the lab! They will call us for an update everyday on the embryos and to let us know when they will be transferred back into my uterus. It is usually 3-5 days after the retrieval. Dr. Foulk said surgery went very well. I was in a lot of pain when I first woke up but Dr. Foulk gave me a pain pill and had a heating pad on my stomach to help ease the pain. I spent the day in bed with a heating pad, movies and slept as much as possible!

Ultra Sound Appointment

Well, we are officially full force in the IVF process. I am given two shots a day by Ryan, take a prenatal pill, metformin and baby aspirin. The shots I am receiving are called Bravelle and Menopur. They are hormones that help the follicles turn into eggs. The shots BURN going in, but after a few minutes I can't even feel where Ryan gave me the injection. Of course there are the side affects from the medications, HORRIBLE headaches, stomach aches, sleepiness and the occasional emotional breakdown!

7/17/2012

Yesterday was the first of many appointments we have this week. They did blood work to check my hormone levels. We were told no news is good news, but if my hormone levels are not high enough they will call us to up my dosage of Bravelle and Menopur. My symptoms of headaches, stomach aches and sleepiness are all "normal" and good signs. Well, we got a phone call from Dr. Foulk's office. It turns out my hormone levels are higher than normal so I did not have to do an evening injection and they decided to lower my dose for the morning! I was so happy I got to skip an injection.

7/18/2012 

Today, we did an ultra sound to see the size of the follicles that are turning into eggs. They are already measuring at 13mm, which is really good. The nurse practitioner counted 25 in my right ovary but did not specify how many were in my left. She told Ryan and I that the average IVF case has 15-20 eggs extracted at the day of retrieval. She said it's looking like they will be extracting 40+ eggs on me. They wont all be fully matured, but they will need to be removed. My body has gone into Ovarian Hyper-stimulation Syndrome, which means my ovaries are swollen from being over stimulated by the medications. This is causing me to have cramps and feel very bloated. This is common with PCOS. They also did more blood work on me today and my levels are still a little high, so I will not have to do a night injection tonight or tomorrow night! So far we are right on track with our IVF calendar and things continue to look promising for us!

7/19/2012

Well, today's ultra sound went great. The eggs are maturing and getting bigger just as they are         suppose to. I now have 59 eggs. YES, 59!! Which is a ton, but it will give the doctor more eggs to choose from. Everyone at the doctors office was shocked to hear how many eggs I have. I guess "go big or go home" right?! I have also been officially cut off all hormone medications! Dr. Foulk's Nurse Practitioner called me and told me that I do not need to take anymore injections of the Bravelle or Menopur. Today, I started a new shot called Ganirelix. It is used to stop my body from releasing the eggs. I only have to inject the Ganirelix once a day, but at the same time each day. I also have to drink at least 20 oz of Powerade which is used to counteract the water in my tummy. The electrolights in powerade help break down the fluids in my stomach to help reduce pain and swelling.

7/20/2012

And then there were 72! I now have 72 eggs, but not all of them are mature and will need to be extracted. The most eggs Dr. Foulk has extracted is 92. We are hoping I am not his new record! My estrogen level has skyrocketed due to the amount of eggs I have and my body going into ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome. To help bring down my levels I must drink a 30mg protein shake a day and drink lots of powerade and very little water. We will have a better idea of when we have my eggs extracted after we get the result of my blood test later today.

Dr. Foulk's office called tonight to let us know that my estrogen levels are great and we are going to have the my eggs retrieved on Sunday July 22, 2012 at 9:00am. Today, I had to have a "trigger" shot called Lupron which is like HCG and gives the eggs a last minute maturity boost before being retrieved.

7/21/2012

Today, was an easy appointment. I was literally at the office for a 2 minute blood draw. They checked my estrogen levels to make sure they did not skyrocket again. Everything was perfect and I will have my eggs retrieved tomorrow morning.

Fundraiser Lemonade Stand and Yard Sale

On June 30th and July 1st we had a "Fundraiser Lemonade Stand and Yard Sale" that was held at our house. First and foremost, THANK YOU SO MUCH TO OUR PARENTS AND SIBLING for putting together the yard sale. We had such an amazing turn out, better than what anyone could ever anticipated. We also want to thank everyone for all the donations made to us to help make the yard sale so successful. Ryan and I were so overwhelmed with all of the love and support our families and friends have shown us, we can not thank you enough.

Let The Fun Begin....

Meds, meds and more meds!!! Today we recieved our all our medications that we will be taking in the next month in a half. Thursday is the offical kick off day for our IVF process. We are super excited to get the ball rolling!!

Moving Forward..,,

     A lot has happened in the last couple of days! We met with a FANTASTIC doctor in Pleasant Grove last week named Dr. Foulk. He was highly recommended to us by a fellow infertility friend (Tiffany Alleman) we have met along our journey. Dr. Foulk has been on the Oprah Show, has several articles written about him in "Family" magazines, and has met with President Bush among several other honors. We decided to meet with this doctor and get a second opinion because his success rates for In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is higher than the doctors at the U of U. We fell in love with Dr. Foulk and his staff, they are all so wonderful to us! 

     Today we met with Dr. Foulk for a "water ultra sound." They placed water into my womb to make sure there are no problems, like a tear within the womb that would affect me carrying a baby. I passed the test with flying colors he said. Everything looks great and we can move forward. 

     We are moving forward in this process and will be starting the month long journey of IVF next week with him. To start we have to prep our bodies by both taking oral medications for 10 days. Then we have a 4 day break from medications but have blood work, ultra sounds and a "shot class" where they teach us how to give me shots at home. Than, we will give me two shots a day for 10 days and 6 of those days I will have an ultra sound to watch the eggs grow and mature. Then after those 10 days I will be put under to have the eggs retrieved and placed in a petri dish with Ryan's sperm to form embryos. Three to Five days after the egg retrieval they will place the embryos back inside of my womb. From there I will be on strict bed rest for two days and then "light" bed rest for another ten days with no heavy lifting. Then we go in for more ultra sounds and hope everything went well enough to obtain a positive pregnancy test! After a positive pregnancy test, (hopefully!!!) I will have to have a shot of progesterone everyday for the first trimester. After that, everything should go as a "normal" pregnancy from there. 

     Ryan and I are extremely excited to do IVF and start building a family! We are so blessed and overwhelmed with the love and support that we have from our friends and family. Our parents and siblings have been so amazing and our biggest supporters. (Obviously, they all want grandbabies!!!) They have even put together a yard sale to help with the cost of IVF and also offered to help Ryan with the house during the time I am on medications, and even more so while I am on bed rest. We are truly blessed!!! 

Quote Of The Day!

"The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it. And the more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination. All good things are worth waiting for and worth fighting for."

I have been on a hunt for a baby change jar for the last couple months, so we can put all our spare change into the jar to go towards IVF and not have the change all over our house and cars. Who knew that nobody makes a "Baby Fund" jars? I saw plenty of "Tattoo Fund," "Boob Job Fund," "Motorcycle Fund," "Piercing Fund," "Girls Night Out Fund," etc in the style I was looking for but I couldn't not find a "Baby Fund" for the life me! I ended up finding a website of a lady who hand paints and customizes jars. Ryan emailed the lady telling her what we wanted and she just took off with it. It turned out so stinkin cute! She did a fantastic job on it and exceeded all of my expectations!

Viva Las Vegas!

So, about two weeks ago Ryan and I were spending time together on a Friday night after I got off work and before he had to leave. Ryan was on the computer and said "Hey Babe, I feel like we both need a vaction," this was right after all our disappointing doctor appointments. I replied, " I could go for one!" He said "Where do you want to go?" We looked into St. George, Zions National Park, Denver, Moab and decided to go to Las Vegas. Ryan booked us rooms for Saturday and Sunday night. I was shocked! When we were talking about going on a vaction I was thinking in a couple of weeks. You know, so we could plan it, make arrangments for our puppy, etc! No, No, not with my spontantious husband! Thankfully, Ryan's dad and stepmom are always sweet enough to let us pawn Lucky off on them, even last minute. Our drive down there was perfect, we talked the entire way down there about everything. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect weekend together. It was just what we both needed to clear our heads and focus on us. We both are having a hard time at this whole "clearing" my system process. We both just wish we could continue on our journey and get to our end result faster, but if we are paying the big bucks for a baby we want to do everything the doctor says to a T. I am also working out a ton with a group of fabulous women, meeting with a trainer once a week and eating better. I am trying to get my body and mind ready for the next step!

A Little About Our Journey Thus Far....

Ryan and I were lined up on a blind date in October 2005 by our mutual friends Jason and Ashlee. Neither one of us were looking for anything "serious". We had both just gotten out of relationships and were enjoying the dating scene. Well, after our first date and six years later we are still inseparable! We are each others best friends and have been presented with obstacles in our life that have brought us closer together as couple.

Also in October of 2005 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). PCOS is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. Most women with PCOS grow many small cysts on their ovaries. The cysts are not harmful but lead to hormone imbalances. The doctors placed me on several different types of birth control to try and regulate the hormones in my body until we were ready to start a family.

In June of 2010 I broke my foot and was forced to go off my birth control because of the high concerns of blood clotting. At this point Ryan and I made the decision to try and start a family. We tried to conceive for 13 months before seeking infertility treatment. My OBGYN placed me on Clomid for four months and I was having blood work done every month to check my hormone levels to see if my body was responding. We wanted my blood results (hormone levels) to come back with a number 15+. Well, month after month my levels were 1.7, 7.0, 1.5 and 1.2. After the four months of my body not responding my doctor decided to refer us to "the guys with the big guns" We were referred to The Utah Center of Reproductive Medicine (UCRM). We started working with Dr. Peterson, who we just love. We met with Dr. Peterson for a consultation to get a "game plan." Before starting more infertility medications I had a SIS done which is an out patient procedure to make sure the tubes are clean, clear and flowing in the hopes of becoming pregnant. That is one test I did pass! For two months I was placed on Provera, Clomid, Metformin and Dexamethsone. While taking the medication I was under close supervision with Dr. Peterson to see how my body was responding to the medications. I was having several blood tests done and ultrasounds. Sadly enough my body was simply not responding to the oral medication and was not producing a mature egg that could be released. My body is great at producing follicles, just not maturing them into eggs. After two months of those medications with no success my doctor switched my medications a little. I was only able to try the new medication for one month. I was placed on Provera, Letzeral, Metformin and Dexamethasone. I had another ultrasound to find out that my body still did not respond to the medications and our journey with oral medications had come to an end. We were at a turning point where we had to decide our next step. Our options were Injectibles, IVF (In Vitro- Fertilization) or Adoption. After a good talk with Dr. Peterson, Ryan and I decided that we would try the injectibles first. We want to exhaust every possible step so we won't look back and say, "What if?" We went through a mini session on how to give the injectibles at home. Oddly enough even though I am not afraid of needles, I could not give myself the injections. Lucky for me Ryan was able to do it. We did the first cycle of injectibles at 75ML. We started the Injectables right after taking the Letzeral, hoping that by having that in my system it would give my body a jump start. We did the injectables for four days and we went back in for another ultrasounds only to find out that it was another failed ultrasound. My body, once again, did not respond to the medications and failed to produce a mature egg. We tried another cycle of injectibles at 112.5ML for three days and went back in for another ultrasound, which we also failed. Our doctor had a good talk with us about the next step, IVF or adoption. My doctor said that we have to go back on Birth Control for 3-4 months to "clear" my system and give us a fresh start. In the mean time Ryan and I have a decision to make. After doing research on IVF and watch Youtube video on the process Ryan and I have made the decision that we are going to do IVF. We are going to have a consultation about IVF with our doctor (so he can go over all the scary stuff) within the in the next six months then we have up to a year to start the process. If we wait until over a year then we have to do the consultation over again. As of now we are hoping to start the process by the end of the year. Infertility has been such an emotional roller coster for us, but it has brought us closer together. We feel that we will conquer infertility one way or another! A few things that have helped us get through this is the unconditional love and support from our friends, family and others. We have some great friends who are struggling with infertility as well and they have really gotten us involved with the infertility community and support groups. They have also introduced us to several infertility books. This has helped a ton to know that we are not the only ones who have been placed on this road!

Thoughts of Becoming a Mother....

A Friend Of Mine Sent This To Me......

"There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and they are good mothers and deserve and love their children. I don’t believe that God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down. Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed them and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. Yes, I will be a wonderful mother."